Insert Grace Here…

…finding grace to help in the time of need…

I AM still the boss!

I can only take so much sass from a teenager trapped in a toddler’s body.  It’s borderline abuse.  Really.

When Sophie returned from the pantry with Dexter’s dog bicuits, I told her to put them up because he was outside. 

“But I just want to give him a biscuit,” she whined.

“No.  He’s outside.  He doesn’t need a biscuit right now.”

“BUT…I JUST want to give him a biscuit.”

“No, Sophie.  Not now.  He’s out!  SIDE!”

“BUT!  I JUST WANT TO GIVE HIM A BISCUIT!”  Shriek, shrill, shrill.

“NO.  You’re not giving him a biscuit right now!” 

“YES me am!”  Sob, sob, sob.

“NO you’re not!”

“DON’T SAY THAT!  I mam (am)!”

“NO you’re NOT!  I’m the boss!”

“NO, I’M THE BOSS!”

Heavy sigh…

If she doesn’t want to do what she’s told—take a nap, pick up toys, take a nap, go to bed, take a nap (There’s a theme here.)—she says, “No ma’am.”

Well, she’s polite about it.  But when I insist, her “no ma’ams” get a little more high pitched.

My attempts to direct her strong-will towards obedience are wearing me down.  But I’m just not willing to surrender.  How much “be quite, Mommy”, “STOPPPP, MOMMM”, “NO you DON”T say that”, “No ME NOT”,can a mom take?

And if that’s not enough… when I demand that she STOP sassing me or she can’t think of something at the moment (I’m not quite sure which one.) she clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth and shakes her head back and forth.  Sometimes she defies me with several clicks.

It’s just awful.

This evening after taking a bath with her, I’d had just about enough of her whining and sassing.  I plopped her on the potty and began dressing her and brushing her hair.  A meltdown ensued.

“DON’T!  STOPPPP it, MOMMY!”

“Don’t tell me to stop it!  You don’t sass me, Sophie.”

“BE QUIET!”

“THAT’S IT!  Mom told you not to sass!  No more T.V. for the rest of the day!”

After much wailing and gnashing of teeth and insisting that I “DON’T turn the T.V. off”, she tried to apologize.  “I’m sorry, Mommy!”

“Okay, I’m glad you’re sorry.  I forgive you but you still have to be punished.”

“NO, I’m NOT PUNISHED!?”

Good grief.

She IS still punished.  At the moment she’s in time out.  I told her to come back in my room because Courtney is watching T.V. in the living room and she’s punished from T.V.  She shook her head and made a noise with her mouth.  It sounded like she was trying to spit at me.  So I put her in time out.

Is there support out there?

As I type she whines, “I’m through whining!”  Like that’s why she’s in time out.  She does that often.  I KNOW she knows why she’s there.  And just in case she doesn’t, I remind her when it’s time for her to get up.  Just like Supernanny. 

Did you catch that she whines while she tells me she’s not whining?

That scenario just played out.  Then I told her she could go get a few more toys to bring in my room to play but she could not stay in the living room because “she’s punished from the T.V.”

So she agrees with me and heads to the living room to “get her toys” throwing a very pitful, “sorry”, my way. 

But she’s still in there.

I’m losing, aren’t I?

…still the Boss?

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10 Comments»

  E_Dragon wrote @

You are in fact winning. Victory is yours. It may not feel like it in these times but your child is talking and communicating with you and that is always a victory.

Hang in there.

  Laura wrote @

Whyyyyyyyy (that’s me whining…) do they think if they are “JUST” doing what we told them not to do, then it’s ok?

i.e., “Turn off the TV and go read a book.” “But I was JUST watching my favorite show.”

What??!! If I didn’t know you were JUST watching something, then I wouldn’t have told you to STOP!!!

Yes, it starts young, and continues for many years. aaarrrghhh!

I’m a Believer anyway!
Laura

  jenifriend wrote @

I’ll be praying for you Rena…for your patience and perserverance…and for your daughters knowledge in understanding that obeyance to you is only appropriate.

Not sure if you’ve read it (I haven’t because I don’t have any children…but I intend to), but have you looked into “Raising Godly Tomatoes”? It might help…thinking of you!!

  ginger wrote @

Ha…ha! Bossy Rossy! She’s got you! No! Seriously, stay consistent in discipline w/love. I need to try more of that myself.
love you,
g

  Kristin wrote @

Good to hear stories of other mom’s (funny) struggles. Good post.

  2nd Cup Linda wrote @

Wow, you’ve got teens and a toddler. You win. Thanks for commenting about my lunch time tales with my daughter.

  Annie wrote @

Rena! You ARE the boss! The cute, little pumpkin is just testing you (ahem – over and over and over) to see if it is true. She likes to tell herself she is the boss, but she is learning little by little that momma is in charge. And secretly, she’s glad you are. I’m sure you’re an awesome boss. 🙂

  Big Mama wrote @

Get the book The Strong Willed Child, FAST!

I have a technique you need to try, I leaned it at a preschool class for teachers and it works.
It is called positive guidance. You instead of saying NO give the child two choices that you can live with. You avoid saying No and the child feels like they have some control. Really you are in control, just giving them choices you can live with.

  Donna wrote @

Hi Rena, I dont have any advice, but if I lived just a tad closer I would be taking you out for a coffee and giving you a big hug. 🙂 But for now, keep it up! And keep writing, it makes us feel less like we are the ones going crazy (and keeps us praying that you dont!) Love ya!

  insertgracehere wrote @

Thanks so much, Donna! Well, maybe I just need to “sail” on over.

I so appreciate all of the sweet comments. I suppose it probably sounds a bit crazy to appear to be defeated by a little tot. But I’m NOT giving up! 😉


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